Taking one step at a time.
We all look to support one another in the darkest times, but I think in my own experience I take too much to heart to be someone’s hero and less of a friend or family member. So in this blog piece, I decided to be raw and hope that this will help anyone looking to understand that sometimes you do have to take a step back and realize everything will be ok, just sit and wait. Live life at the pace given, and don’t rush anything.
For the last few weeks, I have taken time to reflect on my life through situations with school, work, friendships, family relationship and my own art. I started to understand for the last 10+ years I have tried to be the hero in everyone’s life, less of the friend sitting in the sidelines watching them fight in the arena, and a lesser amount of being my own hero. Within time, there’s a moment in any given person’s life when you attempt to help as much as your power will allow until it becomes too much for one individual to handle. It can cause a conflict between you and the person (whether friend, family member, etc.) and in the end they end up with a gift of a ship load of fish but never knew how to fish for themselves. This can cause more of a conflict in a relationship. When things get to the point where you smother one with your presence, you have to realize one major thing: it’s not always about you and sometimes a person just needs time for themselves to reflect on their own situation.
When someone walks into your life, or has been in for a period of time, with conflicts and challenges, typically the person is looking for someone to express their emotion but isn’t asking for help. They hope they can rely on the person to just be there. This doesn’t mean give your recent pay check to the person to pay off all their bills and buy them a brand new car to take care of the beat up old one that is dead to begin with. This means be the support group, the shoulder to cry on and the resource they hope to expect out of a friend, a confidant, and otherwise until they can help themselves through this. Within time it will help the relationship between you and the person create a bond that isn’t labeled as high or low standard; it helps to show that the person can express to you as a person in trust and not as an imaginative figure.
I use to live in the world of Disney, trying to be the sidekick and hero in every person’s life. Within time I gave up expecting more out of a person. I started to see now that life isn’t a Disney movie or the fact that heroes don’t always win the fight. You can lose friends and family out of the battle and you can lose yourself. The main thing you always want to remember is you can’t lose yourself in any of this. You have to start taking control of your own life and be the hero for yourself and the support group for others.
With all this said, I can safely say I have had a productive few weeks. Cakes and art pieces are lined up for the month of June, I had a successful first Art Hop experience (but sadly couldn’t stay for all of it), and my finals are finally over. Hopefully I can keep up with the pace and graduate this year, if not this year then the following semester. I just have to keep swimming and hold my head up high.
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